Dating at my age is definitely a four letter word, horrible, embarrassing, frustrating and many, many more negative words.

I am NOT going to tell you about my successes. Because really, I don’t have any. I will tell you what didn’t work for me. Online dating! Bleagh!!! This is just me, I have friends who tell me about their sister’s cousins, nephew who met their wife/husband on line. I have noticed it is never their boyfriend/girlfriend. I think this is telling. I won’t presume to tell you what to do, so I will just tell you what to look out for.

First the online dater as a second career, I swear one guy literally told me he had dated 250 women on line. Needless to say I passed on being 251. Then there are the one’s from out of town say, Europe that tell you they are moving to your area in the near future and by the way could they stay with you for a couple of days until their escrow closes or apartment becomes available or whatever. You think I’m making this up.

Beware of the guy who thinks you are soul mates after two mildly friendly emails. I had one guy tell me he wanted me to be a mother to his three kids once he got back to the states from his job in Scotland and he had no problem relocating to my area. Kid you not!

If he is in his 50’s and has never been married you have to ask yourself why and finally the many, many married men who are looking for some recreational nookie. I know I am making this overly pessimistic but I personally have experienced all these and more. I have had a few not awful glasses of wine or cups of coffee but no one I ever met was exactly what he claimed to be online. Mostly they were older…much older than they said they were. So give it a whirl just be careful that the person you are e-mailing may not be exactly what he says he is.

Stay tuned for some idea’s about meeting men that may actually work.

Eating your meals alone sucks.

Not always but enough that sometimes you just wish you had someone to eat dinner with. Or you hear about some restaurant everybody is raving about but you don’t want to go alone and sit at a table for four by yourself, or worse get stuck in the table for two by the kitchen door.

I have a solution. I learned this years ago when I travelled for business I got sick of room service so I would go down to the restaurant and sit at the bar. All nice restaurants will serve full meals at the bar. There are many advantages to this, one the bartender will talk to you and two you will be sitting with your back to the room so you won’t know (or imagine) that people are looking at you.

You would be surprised how many conversations you can have with total strangers that can make eating out fun. You don’t have to drink and my strong suggestion is that if you do have a drink you stick to one or two. The other cool thing about eating at the bar is the happy hour menu. I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t always want a big meal and the appetizers are usually big enough that I don’t need a full meal (that’s cheaper too by the way)

If you are thinking to yourself “there’s no way I would feel comfortable doing that” I challenge you to find a local restaurant that you like and the first time or two take a friend or even a married couple to go with you. Get to know the bartender, think cheers. There is something to be said for people who “know your name”.

My sister has always said to her kids whenever she heard the inevitable “why can’t I or why do I” that it’s in the mom’s handbook.

Well where the heck is the thing and why didn’t they hand it out in the hospital as you are about to take home a tiny helpless human being.      Guess what -  we make it up as we go along!

My newest dilemma is what time do you tell them to be home by?

I know in the scheme of things not such a biggy right? Well kinda. We live in an urban area and when my son goes out, a lot of the time he and his friends are walking. Seems like a good deal, he’s not driving. But the later it gets the more alcohol has been consumed by the patrons of the many bars and restaurants downtown and the older are the people on the street.

Once he goes off to college I will have no say over how late he stays out.

So here’s what I think, until then      I REALLY would like a copy of that handbook!